Greetings, my name is Doug the Slug and I’m here to tell you a few home truths about slug life. I could have taken a selfie to introduce myself properly, but with all of the top secret inside info I am about to share it could leave me a tad vulnerable to hate mail and so on. I pretty much look like any other slug, though obviously I am more handsome.
I live in a glorious plot which resembles a supermarket for slugs, but They (the big ones who think they are in charge) are trying all sorts to get rid of me and my sluggy pals. Something to do with us eating all of the plants I think? (We think They are downright greedy for not wanting to share their luscious greenery with us.) I love how They left us beer first of all; to be honest after a hard day munching plants a pint is just what us slugs fancy but really, how stup….